My kids are not broken!
When I mention to people that two of my children have dyslexia, I often get well-meaning advice, sometimes from perfect strangers, about this method or that tutor or some other magic wand that would cure dyslexia and turn my kids into bookworms. So many people seem to believe that my children have a horrible problem that needs an urgent and immediate solution. And sometimes, I just want to scream: stop trying to fix my children! They are not broken!
My children take longer to learn how to read and write, but their learning struggles don’t define who they are. My children are so much more than their dyslexia! And as their mother, who thinks they are perfect (totally unbiased opinion, of course 😉), I want the whole world to accept them and appreciate them just as they are. They are smart and kind and generally fun to have around, and if they start reading at a later age than an average child, that’s really not a big deal in the big scheme of things.
Of course, reading and writing are essential skills. And thankfully, there really are great programs and tutors that have been amazing for my children. But none of them work overnight. They take years. It is important to spend some time every day working on reading and writing. But there are many more hours in the day when the child can be working on something else, something that’s easier for them and that they actually enjoy. It’s important for their self-esteem, confidence, and overall wellbeing. And in the long run, all the other learning they are doing and the skills they are gaining will also help them with reading and writing.
Accept and accommodate
That’s why I wish people would just accept the fact that my kids have dyslexia and move on to a different topic of conversation. Better yet, I wish people were more open to accommodations. Something as simple as reading a text out loud to a child with dyslexia could make a world of a difference, enabling him or her to take an interesting class or to participate in a game or other social activity.
Recently, my son did really well on an online test in a class he is taking. My reaction? I wanted to cry. He did not do well on the previous test because he took it on his own and there was no text-to-speech option. He can read, but not yet on grade level, and between trying to figure out what the questions were asking and then trying to answer them, he got totally lost. Next time, I offered to read the questions out loud to him. The teacher had no objections. My son got a 96! Such a simple accommodation as reading the questions aloud can make a huge difference for a child with learning disability. And yet, too many teachers would rather recommend another super-duper reading tutor than provide accommodations.
Aim for long-term success
Fortunately, this problem is relatively short-lived. My daughter with dyslexia, who is now in high school, no longer needs any accommodations. She worked hard to get to that point, and now she truly is a book worm. She reads everything that her siblings without dyslexia read, and it’s fun to discuss books with her.
I believe that the reason she was able to get so far, despite her severe to profound dyslexia, is because in our family, we always gave her the space to be herself and to learn at her own pace. We accepted her just the way she is and never pushed her to learn to read faster. And we did lots and lots of reading aloud. She grew up surrounded by books and readers, and she was very motivated to read.
Accommodations don’t harm. They help!
Some people think that accommodations get in the way of the child’s learning. In my experience, it’s been just the opposite. Children with dyslexia want to learn just as much as their peers without learning disabilities. Outside of that focused time, at most an hour per day, when they are specifically working on reading and writing, they need ways to learn that are intellectually stimulating and exciting for them and that do not involve reading or writing.
Since my children are homeschooled, I’ve been able to provide such materials for them as they slowly gain reading skills. Unfortunately, they are not readily available or easy to find. Searching educational websites for dyslexia materials usually brings up more and more reading and writing worksheets – maybe in a dyslexia-friendly font. So in addition to lots of reading aloud, I’ve been putting together my own materials, using audiobooks and documentaries. My children enjoyed them and learned a lot.
Dyslexia-friendly learning materials
It’s been my dream to live in a world where dyslexia and other learning disabilities are accepted as a matter of course and where dyslexia-friendly learning materials are available anywhere you’d look. Perhaps our world is still far from that dream, but I’d like to do my part to bring it closer.
I’ve been compiling dyslexia-friendly study units, and I’m finally ready to share the first one with the world! Introducing…
Penguin Adventure: No Reading, No Writing, Dyslexia Friendly Literature and Science Unit
Because children with learning disabilities deserve to be taught in ways that work for them!
Moreover, Penguin Adventure is currently on sale for only $3, from now and through the Homeschooling Children with Special Needs Summit on January 10th – 12th. Which, if you’ve read this far, I highly recommend that you attend. I’ll be speaking more about parenting your child with learning differences. If you register soon, you can still catch the early bird discounted rate of only $5 (through January 3rd).
Wishing you much success in your homeschooling journey!
Yehudis